Can I Get Rid Of Meaningless Self-consciousness? Note: I Don’t Care What Others Think. It’s Just A Habit.?
I’m self-conscious from walking past windows to the moment I go out the front door and outside. I am not ugly or wrong and thus have nothing to be self-conscious about. So I guess I’m not scared of what people think but it’s just a habit I’ve had since I was 15 or something and I am now 17 and can’t escape it. Even if I’m not even being watched and I know it, I can’t help the habit of being aware of every move I make and how I act. That’s how it is. It isn’t a case of caring what others think. And I get habits like feeling I have to swallow before looking at or talking to someone because that’s just how it makes me feel, I act weird otherwise, either that or coughing and during conversation I may spit or cough at someone accidentally. I also know that if I giggle I will look weird hence I try hard to keep giggling in whether it be over something someone says that isn’t really funny or something in my head and is thus just a general anxiety thing I guess. Giggling is another reason I can’t be oblivious to myself when I’m out like the others and am self-conscious. It’s pathetic I know but for years I’ve followed this chain of thought and can’t escape it. I’ve done it so long I guess it’s too late. I wish I wasn’t such an introvert either and that I was just never born because I am different from everyone else. How do I get over this bullshit and be like everyone else? *That is to say, not overcome by really trying, but just loosing all this self-conscious crap and be socially natural like lots of other people I see? Social interaction is like walking for the average human but not me. Being able to do it would be so fun but I have no charisma at all.
Can I (loose) this and how? *Note I’m not saying get over or battle every day, I’m using the word Loose, as in to say I can bin all this rubbish and be loose like the rest.
I think confidence can play a big part in improving, but with the way I am, I don’t see how I can gain confidence and self-esteem. It seems impossible for someone to think totally positive about themselves and love themselves (unless you’re a extrotard). I can’t feel confident because I fail in overcoming my problems. Wouldn’t I need to overcome the problem first in order to get confidence? Hence – anyone can be confident if they have good communication skills. My college tutor is a very fun extroverted guy and we all love him, but he said he was depressed once, so hence anyone can do it unless they’re like me.
Thanks peoples
February 23rd, 2010 at 9:47 pm
Try this. Start looking at others and watching them. Everyone does silly things like spit when they are talking or have spinach in their teeth. I may not understand the question completely, but maybe you are afraid of embarrassing yourself? Everybody does it. I am sure you have seen somebody take a spill and one of the first things they do is look around to see if anyone saw them fall. We all embarrass ourselves and usually recover just fine. I am sure you are a precious person and that if you do not focus so much on having the problem it will work itself out and you will be able to go with the flow and enjoy life. Best wishes
February 23rd, 2010 at 10:43 pm
I am 29, just to give you an idea about where I am. I think alot of people will read this and not respond…having nothing to do with you but them. I think more people are like you, than you realize. As you get older some of this gets easier. You realize that people really aren’t looking at you and judging you, they are too busy looking at themselves and worrying about you judging them. As you get older some of the caring too much about what everyone else thinks goes away too…because really who cares, what difference does it makes. I don’t think you can just lose this…it will take work more than likely.
I have tried to improve my self confidence, by making me feel better. I have improved my style, learned how to do make up, walk with my head up and put my self in situations that require me to talk one on one with people.
I don’t know if anyof this helps, but I want you to know you aren’t alone…i am not…many are like us
February 23rd, 2010 at 11:38 pm
i am the exact same way! the only advice i can give is to try to force yourself out of it and when you are in those situations where you wanna cough to avoid awkwardness or giggle just dont, and realize you can just chill and it wouldnt make a difference to the other person. also, consider a lot of people are that way, so if you are thinking a person doesnt like you then maybe they are thinking the same, or maybe even they are 10 times more shy..ish.
i really dont know what to tell you because i am only answering since i am the same way and i just try to force myself to loosen up and stop worrying so much about how i look, act, talk, or just SEEM like period. its hard but it will get easier. i am almost there!
February 24th, 2010 at 2:42 am
Tackling the little problems can help you gain confidence. Look at the areas of your life you’d like to change, figure out what the smallest problems are, and work on those. Self improvement is a lifelong endeavor. Make an effort to keep your thoughts off you and enjoy the world around you. Allow yourself to relax. In the social scene, start small. Hang out with a few friends and get comfortable being yourself, the real you. That doesn’t mean they have to know all your secrets. As you get comfortable with them, start going places and putting yourself in situations where you can meet people. It might help to start with finding like-minded people who share common interests. Most personality flaws and problems don’t just go away. Not dealing with them can make them worse. So dealing with them really is the best approach. Are you willing to work on the flaws you see? You took the first step–identifying them–and the second step–admitting them. Now to create a plan of action. How can you tackle these flaws? I know what it’s like to feel like you’re not normal. It’s a lousy feeling. The sooner you start making improvements the sooner your self esteem can improve and the quality of your life as well.
February 24th, 2010 at 5:31 am
i wouldnt call it paranoia. Sometimes im like that too, it’s just being aware of your surroundings. Scientists and all these “normal” people name things that are more common than not so they can make money off of it. Your heightened sense of awareness will definitely do you good one day, so keep it but i guess try to keep it to a minimum. You can take an mp3 player when you walk, or a cell, or something to keep your mind off of whatever.